35 Things That Amused Me The Most

By Gloson On February 5, 2009 Under Personal
  • Sumo

Are you bored, or need to have some fun? If so, this post is for you! In this post, I will share with you the 35 things that amused me the most and made me giggle. They include jokes, pictures, videos, and poems.

Have a good laugh!

Jokes

(Mouse over ‘Answer’ to see each answer)

1.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Mary Lee.
Mary Lee who?
Mary Lee, Mary Lee, Mary Lee, Mary Lee. Life is but a dream!

2.
How do superstars stay cool?
Answer

3.
Have you ever wondered why our nose runs and our feet smell?

4.
Guy: Is this my train?
Worker: No, it belongs to the railway company.
Guy: Can I take this train to India?
Worker: No, I’m afraid it is too heavy.

5.
Why do you believe it when someone tells you there are four billion stars, but you always check when you see the wet paint sign?

6.
Why do birds fly south?
Answer

7.
Why do we press harder at a remote when the batteries are dead?

8.
How does a moose start a letter to his cousin?
Answer

9.
Patient: Doctor! Doctor! Everyone keeps on copying me!
Doctor: Doctor! Doctor! Everyone keeps on copying me!

10.
Patient: Doctor! Doctor! I am beginning to behave like a chicken.
Doctor: Why didn’t you tell me that earlier? We needed eggs.

11.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge?
Answer

How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Answer

The lion king is celebrating a party and everyone in the forest must be present. Who didn’t make it to the party?
Answer

You want to cross a river in a jungle, but it was inhabited by dangerous crocodiles. How should you cross it?
Answer

12.
Why didn’t the woman run when the lion was charging at her?
Answer


Images

(Click image to go to original source)

13.

14.
 

15.

16.

"I am NOT amused”

17.

“Naptime”

18.

“Awww”

19.

"Dang!  I’m NEVER going to get the hang of this game!"

20.
 

21.

"Don’t just take a picture – get him OFF!"

22.
 

23.

”Please, bird, come down here.”

24.Get Fuzzy - January 5, 2009

Get Fuzzy - January 7, 2009

Get Fuzzy - January 8, 2009

Get Fuzzy - January 10, 2009

Video Clips

25.
Cat Versus Printer – Who will win?

26.
Darth Vader being a smart. So funny :D .

Poems

(Click on author name for original source)

27.
I Will Not Tease Rebecca Grimes

I have to write one hundred times:
"I will not tease Rebecca Grimes."
Okay, that’s one. I’m far from done.
(This isn’t gonna be much fun.)

“I will not tease Rebecca Grimes."
That’s two. I’m paying for my crimes.
It’s all because I pulled her hair
And put spaghetti on her chair.

Because I gave her goofy looks
And squirted mustard on her books,
I have to write one hundred times:
"I will not tease Rebecca Grimes."

That’s three. Whoopee. It’s going slow.
Just ninety-seven more to go.
"I will not tease" (I’m keeping score.)
"Rebecca Grimes." (Now that makes four.)

I’m soaked with sweat. My shirt is damp.
I think I’m getting writer’s cramp.
"I will not, will not, will not tease
Rebecca Grimes!" Can I stop, please?

The teacher frowns, and that means no.
I still have sixty-six to go.
"I will-will-will not-not-not-not
Tease-tease-tease-tease…" It’s getting hot.

"I will not tease Rebecca Grimes."
That’s ninety-nine. The school bell chimes.
Just one more line and I’ll be through.
Rebecca Grimes, this one’s for you!

My final line will rhyme with "Grimes":
"I will not tease Rebecca…Slimes!"
Rebecca Slimes! Ha ha! That’s great!
I’d better hide it. Oops! Too late!

The teacher sees what I wrote down.
She takes my paper with a frown.
I now must write one thousand times:
"I will not tease Rebecca Grimes."

-by Dave Crawley

28.
Happy Birthday to Me

Happy birthday to me.
I like what I see!
There’s plenty of junk food,
and the presents are free!

-by Bruce Lansky

29.
Jack Was Nimble

Jack was nimble,
Jack was quick.
Jack jumped over the candlestick.

Jack kept jumping,
much too close.
Now his pants
smell like burnt toast.

-by Bruce Lansky

30.
Peter, Peter, Sugar Eater

Peter, Peter, sugar eater,
always wanted food much sweeter.
Adding sugar was a blunder.
Now he is a toothless wonder.

-by Bruce Lansky

31.
Swimming Ool

Swimming in the swimming pool
is where I like to "B,"
wearing underwater goggles
so that I can "C."
Yesterday, before I swam,
I drank a cup of "T."
Now the pool is just an “ool”
because I took a "P."

-by Kenn Nesbitt

32.
Insomnia

I cannot get to sleep tonight.
I toss and turn and flop.
I try to count some fluffy sheep
while o’er a fence they hop.
I try to think of pleasant dreams
of places really cool.
I don’t know why I cannot sleep—
I slept just fine at school.

-by Kathy Kenney-Marshall


33.
Don’t Suck Your Thumb

“Don’t suck your thumb,”
my mother said.
I answered, “Why?”
and scratched my head.
She said, “It’s dumb!
Now go to bed.”
That night I sucked my toe instead.

-by Bruce Lansky

34.
Scrambled

I climbed up the door and
I opened the stairs.
I said my pajamas
and buttoned my prayers.

I turned off the covers
and pulled up the light.
I’m all scrambled up since
she kissed me last night.

-by Bruce Lansky

35.
My Snowman

My snowman had a lemon nose
And lemons for his ears.
His eyes were made of lemon slices,
Hair of lemon spears.

His teeth were candy lemon drops
That smiled in the shade,
But then the sun came out and turned him
Into lemonade.

-by Neal Levin

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1 Trackback

  1. Happy 1st Birthday to Gloson Blog
    July 26, 2009 11:59 PM


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